As an intern, I was terrified of everyone and everything.
I don’t know why. No one was terrible to me or anything. In fact, everyone was pretty nice. I think I just perseverated on wanting to prove that I was “good enough” to be in this residency program.
Anyways, they haven’t booted me, yet, so I guess I’m doing ok.
I remember being so afraid of my third years and chiefs. Which is odd. Because they are some of my favorite people now. And I miss a lot of them.
Being a “senior” now, I do not know how anyone could ever been in the slightest intimidated by me.
Case in point: I equated the “burn and cut” of the Ligasure to the “bend and snap” today from Legally Blonde. “Burn and Cut! Works every time!”
Even the Onc fellow said to my intern, “you will never hear this much enthusiasm in an OR.”
[I disagree, my former Onc fellow, FMB, was the most positive enthusiastic person I know. She was an essentially perfect OR coach. I didn’t give up on my future as a surgeon because of her. Seriously. Thank you, Fernanda!]
It must’ve been that Birch coffee I had this morning. Spiked my blood with caffeine and enthusiasm.
On another 24 tmw. Time to read something non-educational at all and go to bed. And ponder if I want oatmeal or eggs + hot sauce for my pre-call breakfast.
Until next time…
Daily Coffee Tally: 2