Worried About What You’re Not Doing

I’ve mentioned before that I have a really bad habit of being bad at “doing nothing,” right?

Part of this is adulthood – there is always something to get done and no one is going to do it for you. You need to return something or go get X or call XYZ – you must do it. Unless you have a house elf or fairy Godmother. [In which case, can you send his or her info along?]

However, one some of my [very well deserved, I think] time off, I have a propensity to over schedule myself, particularly when it comes to exercise classes because I want to do anything and everything that is available.

[I also like to generally shop after these classes — Exhibit A: DIptyque candles bought after Soul Soho or Noho classes. Endorphins make ANYTHING seem like a good purchase. I mean these are, but….]

I often feel this overwhelming need to be productive. Often, its a sense of urgency. To be furthering myself – whether its my career, your fitness, your friendships, or achieving a KonMari level of organization (this is the true Holy Grail.)

Yesterday, I was “post call.” This means I had been up for 24 hours. The night before said 24 hour work stint, I got 6 hours of sleep because I was finishing all of these ACLS modules for which there is no “call Medical Response Team” button to end the module (seriously, if an OB/GYN is one day running a STEMI or stroke code, the situation must be very dire).

Thankfully, my best bud Jocelyn, sent me this gem, which I have to read like 3 times a day.

After I read this maybe 10 times yesterday morning, I decided it was A-ok to just…sleep. And sit in my bed. Confession — I did make a spreadsheet for work while laying in said bed, but I didn’t get mad at myself for getting distracted, for dozing off, for taking breaks.

Long story short, I felt the need to share the “Worreid About What You’re Not Doing” article with all [7] of you because it was so powerful for me. Thanks to Jocelyn, the finder of all good things on the internet, for passing this along.

This brings me to two things I’m going to work on:

  1. Being ok not doing
  2. Saying “I’m sorry, but…” before most everything I say

I think my most used two words are “I’m sorry.” An attending once asked me what I was sorry for the OR because I hadn’t done anything to be sorry for (Scenario: robot assisting….and putting the Frenchie in the assistant port and I was worried that it was too much in the field of view). My 6th grade best friend even told me I reminded her of the scene is “First Wives Club” where Diane Keaton yells “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” I must really sound like a broken record, huh?

On the subject of “doing things,” I hope that someday someone looks at my booking binder and says “this person was pathologically organized.”

Because keeping track of all of this stuff for booking….that’s how I feel…pathologically organized.

I guess that’s not a bad quality in a doctor, right?

I’m tired. I have no idea if this post made any sense whatsoever. Fortunately, I’m too tired to care.

You can tell me if it makes no sense.

Anyways, night night.

Until Next Time…

Daily Coffee Tally: 3


3 thoughts on “Worried About What You’re Not Doing

  1. If you’re doing too much and are thinking that you are doing too much, then probably you’re doing everything just right. I’ve always felt that if I can find that ‘sweet spot’ (to steal a tennis term) between too little and too much then I am doing well.

    Usually I can recognize the ‘sweet spot’ when I have the cognizance to see my life is just slightly uncontrollable, but since I am thinking about it being uncontrollable, then I know (in my inner being) that regardless of what I may perceive, I have found the ‘sweet spot’.

    The trick, for me, is to recognize that it is uncontrollable. When it gets so bad that I don’t have time to think that maybe I am losing control then I am in trouble and I need a close friend/family to slap me back in line. 🙂

    And just like in tennis, when the ball finds the sweet spot, it is awful satisfying…

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