Interviews are done (woohoo!) and all that is left is to rank and, well, find out where I match.
I saw all my friends go through it last year. And “the match” worked out just fine for most everyone.
There are moments in many days where I just get overwhelmed. I have plenty of time for the next two weeks to mull over programs, think about what I want out of a residency, and plot how I will make my rank list.
And, sometimes, that gets sort of stressful. I’m not sure why I let it frazzle me sometimes, but mostly think it is because I cannot manage my expectations, yet, for what is to come post-graduation (but, don’t get me wrong, more than ready to graduate!).
Then, today, the “match” madness + IT band pain (the right side this year) + 10 miles seeming really far (and, I’m signed up for a marathon in April) culminated in a mini-meltdown this afternoon. You know, the kind where you not sure which way is up or down anymore and you send out a tweet along the lines of “my life is so hard, woe is me” that you will most likely regret later.
And, as it can often happen when you are left to your own thoughts, you assume the worst: my right IT band is definitely going to betray me…I won’t be able to run…I will go crazy between now and match day if I can’t run…should I put “X” as #3 or #4 on the list?…I will need to take out a loan for SoulCycle so I don’t go nuts if I can’t run (kidding, sort of)…I should drop to the half instead of doing a full…is foam rolling even helping?!…
Thankfully, I have nice friends that can talk me down from the ledge. 🙂
Running is very therapeutic to me right now. Technically, I’m “training,” but I like to think that I’m really training more for my sanity than any race. I need a schedule. Something reliable. I need a box to check every day. I have an emotional connection to my running right now in the sense that I need it as constant in my life. But, in terms of being emotionally invested in race results…not so much.
So, if you see me on the street panhandling for money for SoulCycle, you’ll know all of my catastrophic visions today came true.
However, I’m hoping that foam rolling, go to the chiropractor, getting acupuncture, and trying a new nail polish color (a lesser known pain control modality) will keep the IT band at bay. I’ll get to keep running. I’ll gradually become more invested in race results. And, maybe, the match madness will stop plaguing me.
Has this post made any sense? I’m not so sure. Regardless, here are some pictures from today’s run/race, in which I got to run with the birthday girl, Stephanie! [All photos taken by the lovely Erica Sara, who is better Brightroom could ever be!)
TELL ME: THE CURRENT STRESSORS IN YOUR LIFE? SPILL IT. EVERYONE NEEDS A SPACE TO VENT.
Until next time…