Jocelyn calls me “Rainman” because apparently I can remember a lot of things or think about a lot of things too much. I had strict instructions for the Richmond marathon to “turn the Rainman off” for a few hours, which I think I did pretty well. The Believe I Am tattoos really gave me some good distraction.
I got fairly good for a while at turning my brain off when racing — focusing on a few key words or visual cues, turning overthinks into good thinks, not thinking at all and letting thoughts float in and out of my head freely.
And, somehow, it seems I forgot how to do that. Its more like I have some sort of running-ADD brain – a monkey mind, if you will.
Here is a sampling of my thoughts during a 5K today. Background noise: “You’re not really that good at this.”
“Grande or Venti Coffee today?”
“Why am I not faster?”
“Red shirt girl, don’t leave me!” [speed up to stay with red shirt girl]
“This dude sounds like his lungs might collapse. Do I sound like that?”
“Is that the next mile marker or just a person who just is wearing the same color as the mile markers?”
“I now remember why I didn’t pick up running sooner. I am not good at running fast.”
“Am I wheezing? Do I have asthma? Would I need a spacer for my inhaler?”
“Red shirt girl, you are my rock, do not leave.”
“How do I feel about the name Presley for a girl?”
“Well, this feels pretty hard. Guess this is the best I have today.”
You know when I was running I felt like I was doing the best I could, for the most part. There are a few moments each mile where I sort of forget what I’m doing and slow down a bit (running ADD). Immediately when I finished I felt like that was pretty much the best I could do. I wasn’t mad at all. I was pretty happy.
Its the few hours after for some reason that I then turn to the “WHY ARE YOU SO BAD?!?” self talk.
IE “WHY DO YOU KEEP UP THIS FARCE OF TRAINING TO BE FASTER TO ONLY CONTINUE TO RUN THE SAME ALL THE TIME. YOU ARE TERRIBLE.”
Some people might call this overly ambitious, yet self destructive.
You know, actually, my junior year of college I had an awful fall season. So, my motto for the spring season was “to not suck at tennis anymore.”
And, I had the best season I ever had that year. All-Conference Singles and Doubles.
So, maybe, I’ll bring that back for 2013. As well as to learn to stop thinking. Well, not thinking when running…thinking is sort of job requirement most of the time.
Jocelyn says that sports psych starts for Rainman starts on 1/13. Let’s hope that helps.
In the mean time, I’m going to go shopping.
TELL ME: RACE ON NEW YEARS? STAY UP UNTIL MIDNIGHT?
I did — for Oiselle’s #lucky13 announcement, which you should go check out — its super cool!
Until next time…