During the week, I often have fodder for blog posts, but no time nor energy to write them. Thus, I’ve compiled a few non-GYN thinks I’ve thought about this week and am sharing them in short version. You can read one each night like a bedtime story or something.
If you’d like to hear about GYN thinks, then let me know. I can tell you all about pap smears, ovarian cysts, birth control…
Warning: most of these are stream of consciousness and not edited for repetitiveness, grammar, or spelling. Sorry.
FRIENDS IN NOT LOW, BUT DIFFERENT, PLACES:
The title of this comes from that song “Friends in Low Places.” I do not have friends in low places. I’m not even sure what Garth Brooks meant by “low places.” Did he mean depressed, down and out, recently fired from job, or the like?
I don’t know, but I like have friends in different places. I don’t necessarily mean location, but mean “not in medical school.”
Med school friends, if you’re reading this, I like you, too. A lot. It’s not you. It’s me.
I just like to have friends outside of the realm of what I do. It helps me forget that I’m in medical school. And, I like that escape.
So, it was nice to meet up with Kate, who commented on my blog giving me the ins and outs of Palo Alto. Nice to forget what happened during the day and talk about jaw surgery (she just had jaw surgery), the all too idyllic nature of the Bay Area, running, etc.
So, while I love the camaraderie I share with my med school friends (no one else quite “gets it” like those who go through it), I like my non-medicine friends, too.
What’s that thing you learn in kindergarten? Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold? Yes, I think that applies here. Or something like that.
“UNABLE TO AMOUNT EMOTIONAL RESPONSE:”
If you’ve followed this blog at all, you’ll know that I think probably too much about running, particularly the mental and emotional side of it. Ok, and the physical side. I also probably think too much about nail polish colors, but that is neither here nor there.
Anyways, on Tuesday, I was pretty excited to run. I was supposed to do a tempo for 30 min (plus warm up and cool down). If you know me, I usually spend a few days having a nervous breakdown over tempos.
But, no, I was pretty stoked for this one. I sometimes get a high off of being able to run after a long work day thinking something like, “HAH! 12 hour day! You didn’t get me! I still can run today! Booyah!”
I did my tempo around the fake lake here at Stanford. It is fake as it has no water in it.
I felt fantastic, but couldn’t quite give that “extra” push. Couldn’t get myself to give 100%. I was sort of stuck at giving 70%. But, it felt free, fast, and fun. It felt great, like just what I needed after a long day – a fantastic mind clearing run where I processed everything that went on that day.
My splits weren’t all that great, for me: 8:44, 8:36, 8:10, 8:02 for the last half mile or 3/4 of a mile or whatever it was.
Weirdly, I wasn’t bothered by it. I can best describe it as “unable to amount an emotional response.” It wasn’t my best effort, and usually that really bothers me. But, it was a really enjoyable run and all I felt like giving after a long day on my feet.
I don’t know, it just felt like I had drained a good portion of my emotional energy into my day at work and while I had the physical energy to run, I didn’t quite have enough of some sort of energy to give a 100% effort.
Someone once told me analogy that you only have a certain pool of energy and there are many things in your life that pull from the pool of energy (homonyms, what what!). I guess reintegrating into life as a real (not researching) medical student is taking most of my emotional energy, leaving some physical energy for running, but not enough to make myself run so fast I feel like I may throw up or “amount an emotional response to complacency.”
Then, I got stressed out that I wasn’t upset over this run.
Ahh, running, you’re so weird.
PS – Running a race tomorrow. 10k. Kind of curious as to how it goes. Will I care or be complacent? Will I get upset if the latter? We’ll see when that gun goes off…
TWITTER – TO KEEP OR NOT TO KEEP?
That is the question…
INSTAGRAM STILL BE COOL:
Here are some of my recent faves I’ve taken:
WHY POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS SOMETIMES STILL FEEL LIKE LIES:
I’m not really sure what I can draw confidence from for tomorrow’s race. I keep telling myself I’m well rested from not running as much, have been able to run tired after work, that I’m strong, that I’m capable.
I know affirmations work, but they sometimes they still feel like lies. Like I’m faking myself into thinking I’m strong, fast, and capable when really I’m not.
SOMETHING I WROTE:
For Oiselle. I like this post so I thought I’d share the link. You can read if your heart so desires.
That is all for now.
TELL ME: HMM, WHY DON’T YOU TELL ME IF YOU HAVE A TWITTER OR NOT AND, IF SO, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT IT?
Wow, what a psychiatric visit question – “how do you feel about that?” 😉
Until next time…