John Ball (the chiropractor) is my new favorite person. I don’t know if it’s the mildly sarcastic nature, the curly hair, or the fact that he makes you go run for a few minutes in between treatments, but I wish I could park myself here and see him weekly (or daily). The sunshine here isn’t half bad, either.
Now, although Dr. Ball is my new favorite person, his active release therapy brings the pain big time. The almost immediate increase in range of motion helps you endure the pain a bit more (in addition to the desperation to get back to your chosen activity).
Plus, he entertains all of my questions and random thoughts. Score!
I ran for 15 minutes, mostly pain free today! It was great, but 15 minutes also felt, well, long? hard? I ran for what I thought SURELY had been 5 minutes and lo and behold, it had only been 2 minutes. Suffice it to say, I’m out of shape. Whatever race I pick next – marathon, half, etc – is going to be the “couch to ___” version, I fear.
Roughly what I felt like today...
Speaking of races, I haven’t decided if I should do a spring marathon or not.
Part of me says I should go for it, seeing as I didn’t really get my chance at New York with that whole IT-band-injury-two-weeks-before thing and that I won’t get to train for marathons, at least “seriously” (ha! I couldn’t find a better word), for too much longer.
Part of me says I don’t really love the marathon, or at least haven’t found I have. I don’t mind the training, actually. I just don’t like that, first, a marathon is a lot of eggs in one basket. If a marathon doesn’t go well, I can’t just go do one the next month (some people can, I can’t). Consequently, I’ve never been able to really enjoy any of the marathons I’ve run because of that pressure (self-induced, of course).
Spring marathon + eggs in a basket = Easter eggs in Easter basket, no?
Another part of me says that I need to do another one and figure out a way to enjoy it and, maybe, my dream marathon time will follow (my PRs have followed enjoyment in my last races). Plus, I feel like I need to end on a better note than running a marathon injured.
And, I figure, I can put other little races along the way to a marathon to buffer the pressure of just one race (I do this anyways).
Yet, another part of me thinks a marathon might not be a smart decision. Maybe, my injury shows my musculoskeletal system has had enough for the time being and I need to scale back on the volume to let that system adapt a bit more (whereas my cardiovascular system may have adapted a bit more and can handle another marathon).
I don’t think I can give up my marathon goal so easily though…
So, we shall see – you can weigh in if you want.
CHIME IN: EVER HAD THIS DILEMMA? UNRELATED NOTE, WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CURRENT TV SHOW?
I’m watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills right now. It’s not my favorite, but it’s good.
First, I want to let you all know that this lady is my shopping idol:
Look at that, even a map to the doorbuster deals..
In addition to other things, the doctor on Thursday told me that I need to train to run, not run to train. You know what you also need to train for? Shopping marathons. It can be taxing. I take picky bars with me to keep my energy up so I make sure I don’t miss anything.
I actually don’t do the whole Black Friday thing. I’m passionate about shopping marathons, particularly those at Target, year round.
But, people, I just realized that there will be no Oprah’s favorite things this year, seeing as Oprah retired. HOW WE WILL KNOW WHAT IS NEW, COOL, AND OPRAH APPROVED?
I know, this was unsettling for me, too. So, I’ve decided to step in for Oprah and start compiling a list of my favorite things in case you need gift ideas.
Before, I get into that I did see some cool things at FAO Schwarz today, any of which you can buy me.
Ginormous Pink Dog. Cost - $300.
5 lb cereal box of gummy bears. Cost - One Sugar High, Potential Diabetes
Make Your Own Muppet. Cost - $100
A few other things you can also get me: 1) a new left hemi-pelvis/leg; 2) fly me to Canada so I can learn to tempo with a bunch of people who live in a freezing cold environment; 3) 2nd season of Modern Family; 4) Tom Ford Whitney Sunglasses; 5) a tweet back from Jesse Thomas (@jessemthomas) – the entire Picky Pack has tweeted back to me except for him, I need to complete my collection, for no real reason whatsoever.
Ok, let’s start the list. Some will be ones you’ve heard about, others not.
1. Nike Half-Zip With Wool In It: That thing is seriously warm.
A Picky Bar sticker? A Believe I Am Tag? How on earth did that get there...
3. Picky Bars: Literally, the perfect stocking stuffer.
4. Believe I Am Training Diary: For when you do secret santa with your runner friends.
5. Madewell Archive Leather Boot ORNaturalizer Riding Boots: I got my Naturalizer pair off Piperlime (and Madewell off of Madewell’s site). I can walk everywhere in them and no blisters.
Seriously, I wear these everywhere...if I'm not in my Madewell boots.
6. Patagonia Synchilla Snap Fleece: It will become your second skin.
I may or may not have more than one.
7. Wilson Pro-OverGrip: If you know anyone that plays tennis, it’s the best overgrip.
Guess which color I use...
8. LL Bean Wicked Good Clogs: Not the most fashionable choice, but actually wicked comfortable.
However, I heard they don't make them anymore. Don't tell me if that's true.
9. Oiselle Distance Short: It’s like Mary Poppins magical bag – it fits everything. In fact, when I finished the marathon, I found a previously stashed picky bar in the back pocket. I needed that for the country mile walk to get my stuff.
These shorts won't let you down. Your IT band might, though.
10. Billy’s Bakery Banana Cake: Just don’t buy it. Its addicting. I want some now.
11. Sparkly BIC Band: Just get one. And then wear it with your patagonia as I am now.
A rather festive combination...
I’ll stop there. For now.
HELP ME HELP OTHERS IN OUR OPRAH-LESS TIME: What would you add to the list?
Personally, I need book recommendations and help on the decision between Lunar Elite 2s or Lunar Glide 3s for my next shoe purchase.
Before I go on into what’s rocking my week, I want to lament over the fact that my appetite has gone way down since I’m not running. When I eat, I get sad, because it’s just not as fun anymore when you’re not starving.
Anyways, let’s begin.
1. NIKETOWN STILL HAS MARATHON STUFF
Before the marathon, I swore I wouldn’t buy anything as “I don’t need any more running stuff.” A week later, totally regretting that decision. Thankfully, a little bird told me NikeTown still has NYC Marathon stuff, so I don’t have to miss out like I did on the NYU School of Medicine snuggie that I didn’t order.
Perfect for studying in a freezing cold library.
2. GRETCHEN AND COOKIES FOR KIDS’ CANCER IS UP FOR LOREAL WOMEN OF WORTH
Cookies could win a lot of dough. Could you vote? http://www.womenofworth.com/honorees/honoreesdetail.aspx?id=Gretchen_Witt&yr=2011
It takes about 15 seconds.
For this little guy...
3. SELF-AWARENESS THAT I AM ONE OF “THOSE” PATIENTS
I filled out my medical history today for an appointment I have tomorrow for ye ol’ leg/hip/back and realized I am one of “those” patients who writes extremely detailed answers to the intake questions. I mean, I wrote a paragraph next to a question (that doesn’t pertain to my leg, fyi) basically explaining what I thought was going on and definitely used some jargon.
Also, some of the questions on those intake sheets are hard. For example, “Do you diet?” I mean, I don’t eat everything I want all the time. I want Insomnia Cookies tonight, but I won’t go because I care about my arteries and visceral fat. What does one call that? Or, my personal fave, “Are you at your ideal weight?” Wrote a little explanation next to that one to. Yes or no checkbox is not for me.
It also occurred to me that the doctor could suggest imaging and, further, an MRI. I hope not because, although I’ve never had an MRI, that tube looks scary.
MRIs - not for the claustrophobic.
I kind of hope she tells me I can run even if I’m in pain so I can Turkey Trot. I’m sure that’s what she’ll tell me.
You guys know I die for those sparkly BIC bands and how devastated I was when I lost my orange sparkly band on Staten Island. And, guess what…
THREE OF YOU CAN HAVE YOUR VERY OWN BIC BAND!
And, better yet, you get to pick which one you want! So, if you don’t love yourself a sparkle like I do, you don’t have to get a sparkly one.
Rules of the Game:
1. Comment below telling me which BIC band you plan on getting if you win.
2. Tell me what charity you would want BIC bands to donate to if you were them (and why if you can). (Remember, BIC bands gives part of their proceeds to a different charity each month.)
3. Go like BIC Bands on facebook (and then tell me).
4. Go follow BIC Bands ontwitter (and then tell me).
Personally, I was thinking of buying a red or green one soon for the holiday season. Obviously.
You have until next Tuesday to enter. May the odds ever be in your favor!
Also, even though I’m still not running, I still dream and scheme in my Believe I Am Training Diary every night. I love that little thing and its pink spiral. My goals are secret, for now. You can take guesses though. It won’t be hard to guess. Trust me.
They say that you can tell how high a new building is going to be by how deep its foundation is. I’m not sure if that’s true. Don’t quote me on that.
Side Note: Who on earth is “they” when anyone says “they say?” Collective wisdom? Experts? Dumbledore and Hagrid?
Dumbledore knows all.
Anyways, so I went to bikram yesterday. Besides homeslice instructor realizing I can’t pay attention (literally calling me out – “Meggie, focus on the mirror and not looking around” – I’m sorry I can’t pay attention, I like to think), I realized my left leg/back/hip/wtv is wacked. Maybe I’m being hypersensitive to anything that feels off, but, I think it does feel like that – off, out of wack, something like that.
Seriously, can anyone actually do this? I can't even start to straighten my leg. Its embarrassing.
My left leg/back/hip has bothered me off and on since I was 17. It’s typically been my medial hamstring (possible adductor, not sure) and lower back. The IT band was new this year. Regardless, my left leg comes to bite me in the butt a few times a year and I’m over it. I have to get it fixed. Or get a transplant, but last I checked, they don’t offer leg transplants.
You can get a kidney transplant though. This is a kidney. Renal physiology is complicated. Be thankful for your kidneys. Give them a pat right at the edge of your bottom ribs in the back to thank them.
I’d love to tell you how I’m going to be back running again soon and how I’m plotting my course to my spring redemption. However, that’s not what I’m doing. I’m going to take my sweet time and take the whole month of November focusing on getting my body 100% ready to run again. Strength first, running second.
I like to think of my strength as my foundation. Clearly, since I got injured before NYC and then ran NYC sort of injured, my foundation isn’t sound. If I want to run another marathon and run it faster than before, I need to dig out a deeper, more solid foundation. For this point, at least for me, I don’t think that means going out and running 50 miles a week (which is more than I’ve ever done, anyways, so I’m not sure where I came up with that number.) To me, it means fixing whatever is wrong on my left side from the hip/SI joint down and strengthening the appropriate muscles.
Let's learn leg anatomy! See the sartorius (more of an anterior muscle) - it helps pull your leg into cross legged position. See where all those nerves are in the back of your knee? That's the popliteal fossa, if my anatomy memory serves me correct. It was 4 years ago, don't quote me.
I could be wrong though. Maybe I do need to go out and run a lot or something.
So, the month of November will be focused on my leg and, of course, TURKEY TROTTING. When I say running secondary, that doesn’t mean zero running. It just means running isn’t the first priority to me like it sometimes becomes when I’m training for a race and tend to skip out on other things like yoga, foam rolling, etc. I mean, hello, I already have the hair feathers. I can totally channel a Native American and trot it up, emphasis on trot.
This is true dedication to Turkey Trotting.
Side note: I like how I talk like I’ve been doing this running thing for so long as if I have established habits (ie “after a marathon” — yes, all 3 I’ve done). I’ve been running for almost 3 years. So, basically, don’t listen to me.
My very first race with Erika. It was for Miles For Melanoma, which is why we are matching. Clearly, we were having a stimulating conversation. And, clearly, I was only focusing on finishing + not walking.
So, come December, hopefully I’ll be back at it, but we’ll worry about that on Nov 30th.
One last thing. It has occurred to me that maybe I should be worried about fitness losses if I’m going to take my sweet time getting back into running. To be honest, it sort of does, but I also kind of think about it like the following.
I know how to hit a forehand. If I went out and rallied with someone right now, I’d definitely spray or shank a few balls here or there because I haven’t picked up a racquet in a few months. It doesn’t mean my forehand got worse or I’ll never again be able to hit the ball like I used to. It will just take some time to get there. And, if you think about it, getting “there,” wherever “there” is, will take less time than it did the first time around because my body already knows how to hit the crap out of the ball a solid forehand. I feel like my running is the same. My body already knows how to run as fast as I trained it to previously. It will just take some time to get there again.
Unrelated but I just wanted to remind you that I did make it to Staten Island with my orange sparkly BIC band. Said headband is still somewhere in Staten Island. RIP. Hi Kelly and Baker!
Or so I tell myself. Sometimes, I think I should change the name of this blog to “Lies I Tell Myself to Make Me Behave Like a Normal, Rational Person.”
I’m more worried about my clothes not fitting anymore than anything else. And, don’t be surprised when there is another post in a week titled, “OMG! I’M STILL NOT RUNNING AND AM FAT AND OUT OF SHAPE! THIS IS TERRIBLE.”
TELL ME: Anyone who ran the NY Marathon already end their break? If so, why? If not, how much time are you breaking for? Anyone had any weird leg issues and has any bright ideas for me? Or better yet, just tell me something cool you did this weekend.
So, get this – someone asked me for running advice. WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!? Pigs must be flying, people.
See, I told you...
I was flattered, to say the least, and I thought I’d share the question and answer with whoever reads this in case it helps him or her. Of course, I did tell the question asker that I hadn’t been running for too long so she should also seek a second opinion. If this question doesn’t pertain to you, then please stop reading and go to your nearest Target and start shopping for what I call “necessary luxuries.” Thanksgiving decorations? Yep, you need that.
A necessary luxury
Here was the question re: getting injured before a goal race (was I injured?): So you were able to do your race, just not the way you trained and planned? At this point, I’m not sure which is worse – not running, or running and not hitting my goal time. I’m running a half in less than a month, and I’ve been training my body and mind to run 1:38. I got the impression from that you’re similar to me, in that running isn’t just a sport or way to stay in shape. It’s a lifestyle for me, and it’s a direct reflection of how I view myself on any given day. How did you deal with the mental angst about not being able to run your perfect race? I haven’t been HURT hurt since high school, so for this to happen before this particular race makes me very disappointed. I appreciate your email and any advice on how to combat the mental frustration. I hope you have a happy Thursday!
Before I outline my answer, I want you all to know that I did, indeed, have a happy Thursday. Why? I got to babysit for my favorite family and put all 3 to bed, including prep for the tooth fairy.
I want to know who invented the tooth fairy...
Even better, the Cool Haus truck was outside their apartment so, obviously, I got myself an ice cream sandwich before sitting. It was sweet potato ice cream and a pumpkin cookie. An autumnal ice cream sandwich, right?
Back to the point. So, basically, I told her how I dealt with my disappointment and also warned her that I am no running guru or the like. This was just how I got through my experience.
I will put my answer in bullet points so as to make it easier to read:
So you were able to do your race, just not the way you trained and planned? Indeed. My goal was 3:35. I ran 4:05:33. I’m not a mathematician, but that’s off by about 30 min or an episode of Modern Family.
Buying season 1 of Modern Family was the best thing I ever did.
At this point, I’m not sure which is worse – not running, or running and not hitting my goal time. When I knew my leg wasn’t 100% in the few days leading up to the marathon, I thought about running the marathon vs not. I kind of knew deep down I probably wouldn’t be able to race it like I had trained. I tried to trick myself into believing some magic could happen, but I’m also a bit realistic to know that inflamed tendons don’t just heal magically and that two weeks off before a marathon isn’t ideal. So, I thought about which would make me more sad – running NYC slower than I wanted or not running at all. The thought of not running NYC and missing out on that experience was much more upsetting than running NYC slower than I wanted. That ended up being pretty much a no-brainer for me. Who wouldn’t run the NYC Marathon if given the chance?
I mean, if Katie Holmes ran it, it must be something that I must do.
I’m running a half in less than a month, and I’ve been training my body and mind to run 1:38. Before I go on, you should get the Believe I Am training diary. You know, it was disappointing that I didn’t get to run the race I dreamed over for several months. I made a lot of physical and mental jumps in the months leading up to NYC, which made me, I think, a much stronger runner, one that could potentially run a 3:35 marathon if the stars aligned correctly. My ITBS was untimely, but I take it that injuries are part of the game if you’re a runner. I like to think that all of the hard work I did leading up to NYCM doesn’t really disappear and it didn’t go to waste. That work is still in me, somewhere, and it will be expressed, for lack of a better word, someday when I’m healthy. All of that work was going into making me a better runner in general – not better for just one race.
Raise your hand if you have one!
It’s a lifestyle for me, and it’s a direct reflection of how I view myself on any given day. I’m not sure if I’m taking what you wrote in the wrong way, but I would caution against having a result be a direct reflection of yourself. For me, I don’t like to have anything fully identify me. Sure, running is important to me, but sometimes I don’t even like calling myself a runner (mostly because I think people will assume I’m good if I say that). I love goal setting and I love working hard towards a goal. However, I like to do that in other areas of my life, too. I like to scheme ways to raise more money for cookies. I like to figure out what I want to achieve in my professional career. What you wrote struck a chord with me because when I was an undergraduate, I really let me test scores define me. I was obsessed with how well I did in school, although somewhat rightfully so as I did want to be a competitive med school applicant. My obsession with scores, however, became unhealthy as my mood and happiness was directly determined by how I performed. I finally learned to really “let go” of test scores in medical school when the first two years were pass/fail and I’ve been a lot happier ever since.
Love myself a scan-tron sheet.
How did you deal with the mental angst about not being able to run your perfect race? I haven’t been HURT hurt since high school, so for this to happen before this particular race makes me very disappointed. It is disappointing. I’d tell you to look at the whole picture. Here is what I did or have been doing.
I looked at all the successes I had along the way in training for NY. I had some great PRs and a lot of mental breakthroughs (here are some of the links about them). Actually, before I got injured and was worried about my time goal in NY, a wise person told me the following – “No matter what happens in New York, every positive moment you’ve had and each good race and PR along the way…that’s proof that you’ve scrambled the egg. You can never unscramble an egg.” I had a lot of fun along the way, too, scrambling that egg. The process of training for a big goal was fun for me, and I hope it was for you, too. No one result can take that away from you.
I’d say make sure you have something else to focus on after the half. After the marathon, I started on a new, cool project at work and really threw myself into that. I’m now researching what I can do for my IT band/SI joint and what spring races I want to do. I’m dreaming and scheming again, which is fun.
I got to this point in my tennis career, if you can call it that, where I realized you aren’t going to show up to every match with everything perfect. Some days, your forehand will feel all. Other days, you’ll feel like you can’t miss. So, I decided that the best you can do is try to 100% out of what you came with that day. Serve isn’t 100%? Then, try to get 100% out of that 80% serve you have that day. Does that make sense? I say go do the race and do the best with what you have on that day. If it’s an injured you, then try to get 100% out of the injured you. That may not be your absolute, maximum 100%, which is what you were training for, but its 100% of what you are that day, and that’s really all you can ask for. Sometimes your 100% that day is only 80% of your maximum potential because of circumstances like injury. As long as you try to get 100% out of what you have that day, you can’t lose. (Well, technically you can still lose a tennis match, but that’s besides the point.)
People will come up and congratulate you in the week after race no matter how you did. Use it to build your confidence. People at work, who had no idea what my goal was, tell me my time was amazing when I tell them. Most people don’t even ask me my time. I’ve gotten hugs and high fives and, instead of explaining myself, I’ve used it to pat myself on the back a bit. I hope that’s a good thing.
Of course, I told the question asker that I had my definite sulking period and almost threw my running shoes out the window. And, apparently, I sound a lot more sane about things when I write about them, which is why I like writing sometimes. Trust me, I was definitely pretty hard on myself the few days after the marathon in my sulking period.
I guess time heals all wounds. Yet, I hate to say the NY Marathon was a “wound,” because, I mean, I ran it and finished. I had a lot of people cheering for me (all of those people were for me, right?). I got to experience it. In 20 years, I want to look back on the NY Marathon with fond memories, not angst. It was a beautiful day for a marathon and I ate a burger, onion rings, and fries after. I’d say it was a pretty good day.
I'm sorry people, this is the best marathon pic I have!
If you have any recommendations for my question asker, put them below! And, thanks to the question asker for letting me post this!
Also, please watch the shopping spree Sophia Grace and Rosie went on at Toys R Us. These girls are women after my own heart. Look at that shopping enthusiasm. You can’t teach that.
I mean, she definitely needed that suitcase just like I needed those Christmas window gel clingy things I bought at Target. I like to call purchases like that “necessary luxuries.”
Guess who is also back? ME!
Me at age 9. Further evidence I spent most of my childhood upside or figuring out how to flip off of things. I think this explains a lot.
Ok, no, I didn’t actually go anywhere, unless you consider venturing to the Upper West Side from where I live a trek. Anyways, in my dramatic, immature last few days where I almost threw my running shoes out the window, I’ve decided the happy running Meggie is back.
See - happy running Meggie. Have you seen this picture before? Yes.
Happy Running Meggie isn’t back to running, yet, because her IT band still hurts and her left SI joint as followed suit, but that’s a topic for two weeks from now if it’s not better. I’m just assuming all of those things will get better in time.
I think most people are goal driven so I have a hard time writing, “I am a goal driven person.” Aren’t we all? Goals do make me happy, though. I like to dream of things I could do, like running a 3:35 marathon and being on Dancing With The Stars (fine – the latter is a fantasy, not an actual dream or goal — unless I become a star). I sometimes think I live most of my life in this dream world where I can do anything I set my mind to and I am queen of my own universe with a crown and septar. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.
My queen of the universe outfit looks something like this...
A sports psychologist we had at tennis once told me to always have something to do after a match, especially during the first 30 min following a match when I was temporarily insane.. That way, I couldn’t dwell on the results, and could focus my irrational self on something else. I could then go back and think about the match when I was in a less emotional, more rational state of being. Typical post match activities included eating or shopping when I was in high school and studying when I was in college.
I found a tennis picture. Sorry, I'm not actually playing. I think this was in 2006. FYI - I always wore a visor and the Nike Dri-Fit ones were my go-tos. I have a zillion of those. Some are really gross and sweat stained like whoa.
True story: At a Thanksgiving tournament, my friend and I once went from the mall, to a match, won, and then went straight back to the mall. I mean, it was Black Friday deals – we HAD to be there. In our defense, it also been raining all morning so we figured the matches would be canceled for the day. We also had to skimp our warm up a bit because we couldn’t get out of the mall fast enough to get to the courts. Priorities, people. Our coach was kind of mad…wonder why?
Anyways, back to the point. I think not having a new running goal to work towards contributed at least partly to my post-marathon funk. I do have some really cool stuff going on at work and the holiday season is coming up, which obviously means I gotta start getting my decorating on.
My decorating doesn't quite get this elaborate, but close.
I struggled with not being ok without having a goal because I really do think I need to take a break post-marathon and kind of disengage in the whole running thing. However, I still felt like getting my race sign up on would make me feel better and then I could enjoy my breaksie and truly focus on catching up on People Magazine and what really went down between Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries. I need to get my running ducks in a row so I could rest easy, knowing my IT band redemption 2012 plan is in place.
Actual ducks in a row. Ok, rubber duckies. Close enough.
So, tomorrow and soon thereafter, I plan to get my sign up on and, then, line up babysitting jobs to pay for getting said sign up on. I can start writing my race dreams and goals in my Believe I Am training diary by drawing gardens of good and bad thoughts — fun things like that. I also plan on becoming BFFs with my foam roller while investigating ways to rid myself of and prevent both ITBS and my dysfunctional SI joint. Suggestions are welcome.
I’m thinking a spring marathon, possibly out West, but all suggestions are welcome, with a good half thrown in there in the build up to that full. All subject to change though. I’ll probably also do a 5K or 10K or two in there because those are fun. I really like 5Ks because all 2 that I have run in my life felt like out of control experiences. It was fun.
TELL ME: Do you think I’m jumping into getting my sign up on too fast? Should I take a bit more of a break before committing to anything or get my Spring 2012 running ducks in a row first?
Until next time…
P.S. I haven’t decided who is getting the Picky Bars, yet. I have to see how many stamps I have..
Listen, people. I know I am being ridiculous. Running, while important to me, is a hobby – nothing more. There is no reason I should be upset or in near tears when I think about the NYC Marathon. Anyone want to give me a deadline on the sulking period?
Apparently, I wasn't upset here (yet). You know why? Because I saw Ali, Lauren, and Emily all reppin' the sweat squad.
[Seriously, huge thank you Ali,Emily, and Lauren and all the other cheerleaders I saw - Jaime, Jackie, Kimmie, Jess, Courtney, etc - and my virtutal cheereleaders, too many to name]
Mile 18 or so pick me up. HUGE THANKS!
So, yes, my whole crying on the way to work this morning thinking “all of my hard work went to waste” is quite ridiculous. At the moment, it’s the way I feel and I feel somewhat stupid now making my marathon goal 3:35, then putting that out there, and then failing miserably. I have a hard time thinking “oh, it was that IT band thing,” because I’m sure someone out there has PR’ed in a marathon on a bum IT band.
And then I saw this cute puppy on my way to work, which made me instantly feel better. I feel weird calling it "work," considering I don't get paid. Oh well, it's fun, regardless.
Or maybe I’m just slightly psychotic. Someone had the office told me “I’m sorry you’re injured,” and I was like “oh this IT band isn’t an injury, its just an annoyance.” I’m very rational right now, obviously. Like when I almost threw my running shoes out the window this morning – very mature.
Someone at work did validate me by telling me she has similar marathon experiences in not being 100% content with her time. She made me feel so much better and I’m convinced we’re the same person although separated by 6 years in age(we have similar test scores and everything). She told me to not let it ruin the whole experience for me because, at the end of the day, the NYC marathon is a very cool experience.
Anyways, if you know me and how I follow gymnastics obsessively, you would know that I, course, know the slogan of the gym that produced the last two Olympic All-Around champions, WOGA (World Olympics Gymnastics Academy). In true Russian fashion, the motto of the gym is “Train Hard Or Go Home” and “Hard Work Never Disappears.”
I want to raise my kids in Dallas just so they can be good gymnasts...
I like to think the latter one is especially true. Sure, I worked hard for 3-4 months and it didn’t pay off on the big day.
However, I don’t think it’s particularly healthy to judge anything by just one day. I don’t think a surgeon would judge his or her career based on one case.
[P.S. I have to give a big virtual shout out, hug, and high five to Steph (the RC). She is awesome. She gets a thumbs up from Meggie. And a pointer finger. Although I don't think she reads this blog. Irregardless, she's cool.]
Look at the RC go...she is so fast.
I haven’t found the actual marathon to be enjoyable, yet. It’s kind of a lot of eggs in one basket for me, for a race. But, I figure, that’s kind of how I felt about running for a long time — I thought it was pretty miserable. I figure as long as I have the desire to do a marathon, I’ll keep trying.
So, yep, I think this post actual ends sulking period. Meggie isn’t a quitter, last time I checked. I have some really things going on at my unpaid work, have more time to scheme ways to raise money for Cookies For Kids’ Cancer, and can start planning my marathon revenge.
Also, PS – everyone I have ever met from Oregon or who has lived there at some point is super tiny. I want to know what on earth is in the water there that is making them all so skinny. I want some of that. Or a mild bout of a tapeworm or something. It can’t be just all that running and stuff they do over there, right?
TELL ME: Your comeback stories, your revenge stories, your war stories, your glory days, your successes, how a sport has once been terrible to you and then you loved it again…I need to be inspired.
Before I go, I ‘ll give you one of mine which has been helpful to me in my sulking period. My junior year of college, I think I won two matches all of the fall season, culminating in a particularly terrible match that I called my “waterloo.” That fall, I felt like I couldn’t hit the side of a barn if I tried. I thought very seriously about quitting tennis that winter, because I just didn’t enjoy it anymore. That spring, I took all pressure off of myself and focused on very basic things. I got all conference that season in both singles and doubles (first team doubles, second team singles, in case you were actually curious.) So, I guess things can turn around.
One of the only pics I have of me playing tennis...I'm sure there are more somewhere....
Today begins the official sulking period over the NYC Marathon for me. I know, I’m being a competitive psycho, but I can’t help it. It’s the way I feel.
I believe I am....sulking. I did run with this in my pocket. The Oiselle distance shorts are awesome. So much storage space.
After I finished, it’s hard to be anything other than happy. Random people congratulate you. No one asks you what your time was. They’re just impressed you finished. I feel the same way when I see other people finish a marathon. If they ran a great time, that’s fabulous, but its even attempting the thing that’s impressive to me. And, it is a pretty incredible thing, when you think about it. The RC reminded me that 99% of people don’t attempt nor finish marathon.
Token NYC finishers in sweet mylar blankets.
If you’ve read any previous posts, you’ll know my time goal for this marathon was 3:35 and then I had my IT band stage a mutiny against me, causing me to run 3x in the last 2 weeks before the marathon. 4:05:33 is very far off form 3:35 and it wasn’t even an improvement from my last marathon(3:48 in May). When I look at it as facts, that it was much worse than the last one, it’s a tough pill for my competitive self to swallow.
I’m having a hard time knowing whether I used my leg as a cop out not to try harder. Did I make it worse in my head so that way I’d have an excuse for slowing down? Maybe. It’s hard to know. It did hurt, especially towards the end when I couldn’t bend it well, but doesn’t something always hurt at the end of a marathon?
I hate you.
I feel like I maybe gave up on myself a little bit from 8-15, which is a big chunk. In my past two marathons, I’ve always had a hard time not thinking “this sucks, I am never doing this again” or “I really am not cut out for marathons if my legs feel a little tired at mile 10.” Those thoughts are exactly what I didn’t want to happen if you read this post from way back when. I did a better job than Jersey in getting rid of them and I didn’t have them after mile 15. Nevertheless, they were still there. There were definitely parts where I was not enjoying myself like I had hoped I would.
Like I said in my last post, if its one thing I’m not, its a quitter. So, of course, I’m already scheming marathon #4 and how it will be redemption 2012. I figure, if I keep trying, one day I’ll get it right, get the marathon I’ve dreamed of. Or maybe I’m just really stubborn and slightly stupid. Maybe I really am not cut out for marathons. But, I figure, I did pretty well in the whole training thing. Eventually I should get the actual race to go my way, right?
I know, I’m being a competitive whiner right now. Writing about it makes me feel better about it so, unfortunately, if you’re reading this, you are being subjected to this. I am sorry.
Now, I know what you’re all thinking. WHAT DID MY NAILS LOOK LIKE FOR THE MARATHON?
Baubing for Baubles and Vermillionaire, both by Essie
I was thrilled with the outcome on the nail polish front.
Now, I need to go caffeinate myself, preferably with an americano with mocha, which the RC introduced me to and is one of my new favorite things. I highly suggest you try it immediately. The RC is wise not only on the running front, but also on the coffee front.
I'm subjecting you to this picture again.
TELL ME: Should I give the marathon another shot? Call it quits?
This is all assuming I can run again. Right now, my legs feel trashed.
Until next time..
P.S. I have to give a shout out to everyone I know who finished: Lindsay, Lauren, Kelly, Betsy, Susan, Emilia, Shannon, Bruce, Heidi, Katie…I think that everyone…sorry for anyone I missed!
Today’s post-NYC Marathon post is brought to you by the word “resilience.”
But, first, things first.
First, I would like for us all to have a moment of silence for my dearly departed orange sparkly BIC band. I lost it in the start village when I was ripping off layers. For a moment, it was lost upon me as to how I was going to run fabulously with out a sparkly headband. But, I pulled it together.
It was nice knowing you, orange sparkly headband. RIP.
Second, I HAVE FOUND THE WAY TO KEEP YOUR HAIR FROM TANGLING during a super long run – extremely dirty, greasy hair. I mean, you’re going to get gross anyways, why shower the day before…or the day before that.
Third, if you ever run the NYC Marathon, take a heat sheet or blanket and toilet paper into the corrals with you. While there are bathrooms in the first holding area, when they walk you up on to the bridge, there are not. And, you have to wait on the bridge for approximately 20 min. The urge make strike. It did for me. I jumped a guard rail and went right then and there. No shame here.
Sorry, I don't have a picture of me peeing at the start. This is mile 18 roughly. Credit: Ali
Today was marathon #3. The NYC Marathon is a hard course, people. Definitely the hardest of any marathons I’ve done. Its basically all graded uphill or graded downhill. There are no huge hills, but the “uphill” parts of the course are long and somewhat torturous. It’s crowded, but you never feel smothered or that you can’t run at whatever pace you want. There is, of course, lots of crowd support minus a few sections, usually bridges.
With such a hard course, I’m not so sure it’s one I’d pick for a first marathon or for a fast time. It’s definitely one to run for the experience. It’s pretty incredible just how many people are cheering for 40,000+ crazy people that decide to go run for a really long time. For me, it was amazing to see people I knew along the course cheering for me. I felt very loved. If you run it one day, I will come cheer for you.
Although I was #21,141, I was the ONLY MEGGIE running the NYC Marathon. I always knew I was special.
[P.S. Side note - I did not put my name on my shirt. When people yelled, "Meggie!" I knew it was someone who knew me. I liked that.]
So, as I mentioned, my word for today was “resilience.” The word happened to resonate with me in the days leading up to the marathon for a few reasons.
First, I felt I had to be resilient coming back from basically not running for 2 weeks. I’ll be honest, I know every said it wouldn’t hurt me, but I had my doubts. I figured I needed to be resilient and bounce back quickly to be able to run today.
Second, I think a key to a marathon (not that I would say I’ve ever had one where I just nailed it) is being resilient. 26.2 miles is far. There are bound to be good patches and bad patches. When the bad one comes, you need resilience to bounce back from that and, moreover, belief that you will feel good in another mile or so. My main mental image today was a trampoline.
Or maybe I just miss flipping around…
Anyways, my plan was to start out slow. I remembered the RC’s fiance (the RCF) telling me that even if I ran 9 min or something, that was fine. I took his advice to heart. I ran the first mile in 9:22.
This is the RCF. Please tell me this is the most fabulous finish photo you have ever seen.
I actually intentionally sped up the 2nd mile to make up for the taking-the-slow-start advice far too seriously. Mile 2 was 7:52. Probs too fast, but, in the end, it didn’t really matter.
Sorry for that, RC. Also, the RC is the tiniest person I've ever met. I feel very well fed or something next to her.
My leg started hurting at mile 1. I know, right? You would think the running Gods would give me a few pain free miles. I tried as best I could to shift my thoughts from my knee to something else, as there was nothing I could really do about it, except see how it went mile-by-mile. So, I focused on the bunch of grapes running near me – literally, dude dressed as grapes.
Literally, homie ran with a bunch of balloons.
From 3-10 I tried to be a little bit off (meaning behind) planned marathon pace and then I would speed up from there. I wanted to be around 8:20 To be honest, I find miles 8-12 of a marathon very hard mentally. The adrenaline of the start has worn off, you’ve run a pretty good distance, and you’re not even half way there, yet. For some reason, starting around 7, my legs felt really sluggish and I started to have thoughts of “why am I doing this” and “apparently, I am just not cut out for marathons.” Then, I shut myself up because I’ve felt fine in halves or 15Ks at mile 8. So, I chalked it up to a bad patch and hoped a good one would come soon.
10-15, I’m not exactly sure what happened. My leg was about the same. It hurt, but it wasn’t sharp and I could still mostly bend it. I probably could’ve given a better effort here, but I think I was sulking slightly over my leg. And then there was the Queensboro bridge, which was long and torturous. Looking back, I hope I wasn’t giving up on myself, but maybe I was.
The Queensboro Bridge looks innocuous. It is not.
After mile 15 sucked with that hill up the bridge, I made a little game for myself so I could enjoy the rest of it. Let me explain. I wise person once told me that a workout, as written, is a 100% value. Even if its a bad day, you still get 90% value for giving a good effort. There is not really winning or losing, you just try to “win” as much of that 100%. So, from mile 15 on, I decided to try to “win” as much as possible each mile – don’t ask, it made sense at the time.
Oh wait – I had one more game, too. I pretended after mile 15 that each mile was a 3rd set or a tiebreaker (tennis, people). Do you give up when you’re down 1-0 in a 3rd set? No. So, would I give up if I had a particularly sucky mile that mile? No.
It was around 16 than I started to get some sharp pains in my leg. I briefly worried that I may not be able to finish, which was a horrifying thought, but if there is anything I’m not, its a quitter. I think I repeated that to myself – “You are not a quitter.” I figured I’d finish if I had to walk or something.
Example of First Ave Crowds
16-20 was incredibly fun, despite the leg pain. The downhill of the Queensboro bridge really did a number on the IT band, but I tried to shut it up (no, I did not actually yell at it likee my last long run) so I could focus on seeing people I knew. Priorities people.
Mile 18-26 was when I sort of had to change my gait to accomodate for ye ol’ leg. Speeding up at all produced a sharp pain. I almost cried here, because I wanted to go faster than I was running, but couldn’t unless I wanted to be completely masochistic. I almost cried a little bit here, because I was sad.
Then, I figured if I could actually breathe for the last 6 or so of a marathon, I might as well enjoy it. So, I used the opportunity to soak in all the people and atmosphere. I mean, why not?
Still running. Approx mile 22.
The last downhill coming out of the park really threw the leg out of wack and I did a sweet somewhat-Trendelenberg-like gait the last 1.5 miles since my knee wasn’t so down with bending.
Of course, I have more thoughts, but I will have to write those down tomorrow. I’m exhausted.
Later, people. And, congrats to everyone who ran the NYC Marathon today!
Until next time…
(PS – my finish time was 4:05:33. Forgot to mention that tid-bit.)
That’s right, I wrote a letter to myself. I can’t take credit for the idea. I stole it from former UCLA gymnast and 2011 World Team Gold Medalist, Anna Li. Here’s one of her floor routines, just so you can know who I’m talking about.
Anyways, I remember reading that Anna Li wrote a letter to herself before her senior season at UCLA, writing to herself how she hoped she would feel at the end of her collegiate career. I’m not exactly sure why she did it, but I thought it be a good, umm, writing exercise?
I wrote a first letter to myself a few weeks ago, before the whole IT band thing happened and my main focus, at the time, was achieving my time goal. It helped me focus myself on what I wanted to feel like at each part of the race and how, ideally, I would like the whole thing to play out. It was actually the first time I used the lined, journal side of my amazing Believe I Am Training Journal, which I still insist that each and everyone of you reading this buys (for the guys, its ok, pink is totally in for guys, too).
The back cover - can we call this super hero "Super Taper?" Yes?
However, I’m thinking I need to write a new letter to myself. For a few reasons…
First, to be honest, I’m very overwhelmed by this whole marathon thing. I’m not exactly sure why, either. In past years (when I have not been running it), I thought the energy was awesome and was jealous of people who were getting to run it. Now that its me running it, all the runners descending upon the city, ads, events, etc, make me anxious. Suffice it to say that even though I haven’t been running much, my heart rate has definitely had some spikes in zones it would only see while running. So, I think writing another letter to myself would help me refocus myself on what I actually want to get out of this whole experience and will help, umm, un-overwhelm me.
If I mention heart rates, I obviously have to show a picture of an EKG.
Second, one would reason that I need to change my expectations slightly considering I’ve run 3 times in the past 2 weeks. Of course, because I am very competitive and pretty stubborn, my A goal hasn’t changed. But, I guess my level 0 goal is to finish, considering I may have that knife in the knee happen during the marathon at which point I most likely wouldn’t be able to run the pace I would need to achieve my A goal. Plus, as all of you all reminded me, there are so many variables in a 26 mile race that it’s best to have multiple goals so there isn’t one “do or die” goal you have to hit.
I’m pretty stubborn and know my competitive self a little too well. I will probably be slightly disappointed if I don’t achieve my A goal. I’ve dreamed of it since August. It’s hard for me to let it go.
I will be enormously disappointed if I don’t finish. Yet, with my IT band thing, it is a very real possibility. I need to come to terms with the fact that I might have to readjust my goals depending on how my leg handles the race.
In my first letter to myself (which is a lot of rambling, fyi), my over-arching theme (or recurring thought, I guess) was that I wanted to walk away from the experience with a smile on my face. This may be the only time I get to run the NYC marathon and I don’t want to take it for granted or be ungrateful for the experience.
I don’t think disappointed and smiling really go together. So, clearly, I need some sort of attitude adjustment. One of the reasons I like writing blog posts is that it helps me process things in my life by turning it into a cohesive (well, not always) post. I find writing therapeutic and cathartic at times. So, I will probably be writing a little letter to myself in the very near future about how I want to feel come Sunday evening. You best believe it will also be in my Believe I Am Training Log.
Maybe I should print this and pin it to my bib or something...
Emotionally, I’m excited, terrified, anxious, scared, uncertain, yet thrilled to be taking part. Although I’m sure I seem like an ungrateful, competitive whiner, I truly am excited that I get to run in one of the greatest marathons in the world (and possibly the largest, I think). It really is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Physically, I feel very well rested, but with a lot of pent up energy.
Leg-sically, I ran today for 20 min. Its better, but its not perfect. I can definitely feel some friction, but its much better then previous runs last week and its not too painful. I’m hoping adrenaline will provide some analgesia on Sunday and I won’t notice a thing. I also plan on icing and taking ibuprofen (until Saturday when I will switch to Tylenol because it doesn’t affect your kidneys like NSAIDs do, just an fyi)
A nephron, which is the "workhorse" of the kidney! If you want an explanation of why you should take Tylenol before and during a marathon, I can tell you. And It has to do with this little guy.
Mentally, I have to take it one day at a time. I’ll have to take it one mile at a time on Sunday and keep reassessing my situation as I run, I guess.
So, that’s where I’m at people.
Oh guess what I also did – I’m pretty sure I freaked out a real life Kenyan runner. I saw Sally Kipyego, who was with the RC and, of course, I recognized her and screamed, “OMG!!! I LOVED YOUR INTERVIEW ON FLOTRACK! YOU ARE AMAZING! CONGRATULATIONS!”
I’m sure she thought I was a real life Buddy the Elf.
I wanted to ask her to give me all of her secrets, besides being Kenyan. Missed opportunity.
TELL ME: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF WRITING A LETTER TO YOURSELF? EVER GET OVERWHELMED BY A RACE? MOVIE RECS FOR WHEN I BEGIN HIBERNATION PERIOD?
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