I Went Down A Giant Slide Today

I did. At the New Museum’s “Carsten Holler: Experience” exhibit. Apparently, if you want to build a slide through a museum, people will call it art.

Art? Entertainment? Both.

If I read the snippets correctly, Holler likes to use pyschotropic drugs, possibly at some exhibits. I don’t think handing out LSD at a museum is approved in the US, but I bet it makes some of the “art” really cool, whereas I was left scratching my head, not really understanding why the piece or “experience” was cool. Maybe I’m just very shallow. The slide was fun though (warning: the wait is like an hour for the slide).

On a separate note, why anyone watches the first 3 and a half quarters of a football game is beyond me. The last 10 minutes of the game is, in my football experience, usually the most exciting part. Exhibit A: The USC-Oregon game last night. I mean, I didn’t watch the whole game, but the last 10 minutes or so was really good. I always feel so bad for the kicker and, moreover, the kicker’s mom. So much pressure for one task.

Our national championship hopes depend on this field goal. So, for the love of God, DON'T MISS! No pressure, though.

Then again, I’m still confused if it’s “off sides” or “on sides” or if both terms exist. I mean, I know “off sides” exists, I’m not exactly sure what it means, but is there also “on sides?” My dad and brother would be mortified if they saw this as my house revolves around football games all weekend in the fall.

Anyways, I tried running today. I ran for 37 mintues and my leg (at the left knee) still felt stiff for all 37 of those minutes. I have no idea how far or fast I was going because I just do not care right now. I’m more concerned with being able to run for a longer amount of time, so I have more time to catch up with people.

While my knee felt stiff and not amenable to speeding up, it didn’t get worse as time went on. I’m hoping this means that if I continue my foam rolling, icing, and ibuprofen regimen, things will get better.

I may take things to a new level with my foam roller and bring it home with me for Thanksgiving. Our relationship is getting serious.

I know you all were dying to know this information.

Some other information you’re probably pining to know: I ellipticalled yesterday for an hour. My knee made it to 45 minutes until it started to hurt. Don’t ask why I didn’t stop then, I don’t know either. However, I think I can count this as a “safe” activity as it doesn’t bother my hamstring or back. I just need to find ways to make it more interesting and challenging besides reading People magazine simultaneously. I refuse to succumb to that.

I mean, let's not lie, though. Always a page turner.

I think my left leg has gotten dumb with all of this time off (basically 2 weeks before the marathon and now 2 weeks post-26.2), as well. I did some lungy/squatty things today (this is the technical term for it) and it was like my leg forgot how to use its muscles. Certain muscles tired out very easily. Or maybe I’m just very weak, seeing as I failed some of those strength tests miserably at the doctor.

I mean, it is hard to hold your leg up against resistance when you’re laying on your side and your leg is extended behind you, right? It’s not just me who has their leg hit the table within 5 seconds right?

I’m no physical therapist or exercise physiologist, but I think that little strength issue needs to be fixed before I concern myself with running well and, moreover, time, pace, distance, etc.

I probably won't bust out this guy until January or February. Am I being a bad runner by not caring about this right now?

So, to prevent any frustration over not getting more than my social jog on, I like to think of November and December as a tunnel. The beginning of the tunnel was when I ran the NYC Marathon and the end of the tunnel is me ready to start training for another marathon. As I travel through the holiday tunnel (hello, it happens to fall during the holiday season so it’s the holiday tunnel), I have to make myself better, stronger, and able to train for another one, which is not something I take for granted.

Buddy the Elf had to go through the 7 layers of the candy cane forest and then a tunnel to get to NYC...

I’m not exactly sure what I’m going to do to get physically stronger and keep my cardiovascular fitness level up, but I’ll figure it out. Maybe. Anyone got any bright ideas?

Ok, enough about that. Let’s continue with the list of favorite things:

I always wanted to be on the Oprah's favorite things show, but who didn't?

1. Dry Shampoo: Don’t lie, you don’t always want to shower and wash your hair. Better than baby powder. I’ve tried that, too.

2. Molton Brown Lotion: Everyone I babysit for has this in their bathrooms, so, apparently, Molton knows what’s up.

3. Spinning Classes at FlyWheel or Soulcycle + lululemon attire: These are big in NYC. Well, if you have a good chunk of change to spend on spinning. Kelly Ripa apparently is a Soul Cycle diehard. You can feel free to buy some classes for me so I can test them out for all of you. You need the lululemon to fit in with the young, NYC spinning crowd. (Personally, have never found anything at lulu that I’ve died for.)

4. Kiehl’s Tanning Lotion: The best and doesn’t smell super weird.

5. Hanae Mori perfume: One of my favorites.

CHIME IN: Continue adding to the “favorite things” list! Maybe Oprah will call us and tell us how we are doing such a great job in her absence. Also, anyone got any good cross training workouts or strength training ideas that do not involve spending a fortune.

Oh yeah, and let me know if you want to win a BIC band, if you haven’t already.

Until next time…

I’m Not As Hungry Anymore and It’s Not Cool

Before I go on into what’s rocking my week, I want to lament over the fact that my appetite has gone way down since I’m not running. When I eat, I get sad, because it’s just not as fun anymore when you’re not starving.

Anyways, let’s begin.

1. NIKETOWN STILL HAS MARATHON STUFF

Before the marathon, I swore I wouldn’t buy anything as “I don’t need any more running stuff.” A week later, totally regretting that decision. Thankfully, a little bird told me NikeTown still has NYC Marathon stuff, so I don’t have to miss out like I did on the NYU School of Medicine snuggie that I didn’t order.

Perfect for studying in a freezing cold library.

2. GRETCHEN AND COOKIES FOR KIDS’ CANCER IS UP FOR LOREAL WOMEN OF WORTH

Cookies could win a lot of dough. Could you vote? http://www.womenofworth.com/honorees/honoreesdetail.aspx?id=Gretchen_Witt&yr=2011

It takes about 15 seconds.

For this little guy...

3. SELF-AWARENESS THAT I AM ONE OF “THOSE” PATIENTS

I filled out my medical history today for an appointment I have tomorrow for ye ol’ leg/hip/back and realized I am one of “those” patients who writes extremely detailed answers to the intake questions. I mean, I wrote a paragraph next to a question (that doesn’t pertain to my leg, fyi) basically explaining what I thought was going on and definitely used some jargon.

Also, some of the questions on those intake sheets are hard. For example, “Do you diet?” I mean, I don’t eat everything I want all the time. I want Insomnia Cookies tonight, but I won’t go because I care about my arteries and visceral fat. What does one call that? Or, my personal fave, “Are you at your ideal weight?” Wrote a little explanation next to that one to. Yes or no checkbox is not for me.

It also occurred to me that the doctor could suggest imaging and, further, an MRI. I hope not because, although I’ve never had an MRI, that tube looks scary.

MRIs - not for the claustrophobic.

I kind of hope she tells me I can run even if I’m in pain so I can Turkey Trot. I’m sure that’s what she’ll tell me.

4. BIKRAM YOGA

But, I already told you about that…

I do want to let it be known to anyone who sees me attempt anything that requires flexibility that I was once flexible.

I think I'm 9 in this picture....

5. BIC BANDS

You guys know I die for those sparkly BIC bands and how devastated I was when I lost my orange sparkly band on Staten Island. And, guess what…

THREE OF YOU CAN HAVE YOUR VERY OWN BIC BAND!

And, better yet, you get to pick which one you want! So, if you don’t love yourself a sparkle like I do, you don’t have to get a sparkly one.

Rules of the Game:

1. Comment below telling me which BIC band you plan on getting if you win.

2. Tell me what charity you would want BIC bands to donate to if you were them (and why if you can). (Remember, BIC bands gives part of their proceeds to a different charity each month.)

3. Go like BIC Bands on facebook (and then tell me).

4. Go follow BIC Bands ontwitter (and then tell me).

Personally, I was thinking of buying a red or green one soon for the holiday season. Obviously.

You have until next Tuesday to enter. May the odds ever be in your favor!

Also, even though I’m still not running, I still dream and scheme in my Believe I Am Training Diary every night. I love that little thing and its pink spiral. My goals are secret, for now. You can take guesses though. It won’t be hard to guess. Trust me.

Until next time…

Reconstruction

They say that you can tell how high a new building is going to be by how deep its foundation is. I’m not sure if that’s true. Don’t quote me on that.

Side Note: Who on earth is “they” when anyone says “they say?” Collective wisdom? Experts? Dumbledore and Hagrid?

Dumbledore knows all.

Anyways, so I went to bikram yesterday. Besides homeslice instructor realizing I can’t pay attention (literally calling me out – “Meggie, focus on the mirror and not looking around” – I’m sorry I can’t pay attention, I like to think), I realized my left leg/back/hip/wtv is wacked. Maybe I’m being hypersensitive to anything that feels off, but, I think it does feel like that – off, out of wack, something like that.

Seriously, can anyone actually do this? I can't even start to straighten my leg. Its embarrassing.

My left leg/back/hip has bothered me off and on since I was 17. It’s typically been my medial hamstring (possible adductor, not sure) and lower back. The IT band was new this year. Regardless, my left leg comes to bite me in the butt a few times a year and I’m over it. I have to get it fixed. Or get a transplant, but last I checked, they don’t offer leg transplants.

You can get a kidney transplant though. This is a kidney. Renal physiology is complicated. Be thankful for your kidneys. Give them a pat right at the edge of your bottom ribs in the back to thank them.

I’d love to tell you how I’m going to be back running again soon and how I’m plotting my course to my spring redemption. However, that’s not what I’m doing. I’m going to take my sweet time and take the whole month of November focusing on getting my body 100% ready to run again. Strength first, running second.

I like to think of my strength as my foundation. Clearly, since I got injured before NYC and then ran NYC sort of injured, my foundation isn’t sound. If I want to run another marathon and run it faster than before, I need to dig out a deeper, more solid foundation. For this point, at least for me, I don’t think that means going out and running 50 miles a week (which is more than I’ve ever done, anyways, so I’m not sure where I came up with that number.) To me, it means fixing whatever is wrong on my left side from the hip/SI joint down and strengthening the appropriate muscles.

Let's learn leg anatomy! See the sartorius (more of an anterior muscle) - it helps pull your leg into cross legged position. See where all those nerves are in the back of your knee? That's the popliteal fossa, if my anatomy memory serves me correct. It was 4 years ago, don't quote me.

I could be wrong though. Maybe I do need to go out and run a lot or something.

So, the month of November will be focused on my leg and, of course, TURKEY TROTTING. When I say running secondary, that doesn’t mean zero running. It just means running isn’t the first priority to me like it sometimes becomes when I’m training for a race and tend to skip out on other things like yoga, foam rolling, etc. I mean, hello, I already have the hair feathers. I can totally channel a Native American and trot it up, emphasis on trot.

This is true dedication to Turkey Trotting.

Side note:  I like how I talk like I’ve been doing this running thing for so long as if I have established habits (ie “after a marathon” — yes, all 3 I’ve done). I’ve been running for almost 3 years. So, basically, don’t listen to me.

My very first race with Erika. It was for Miles For Melanoma, which is why we are matching. Clearly, we were having a stimulating conversation. And, clearly, I was only focusing on finishing + not walking.

So, come December, hopefully I’ll be back at it, but we’ll worry about that on Nov 30th.

One last thing. It has occurred to me that maybe I should be worried about fitness losses if I’m going to take my sweet time getting back into running. To be honest, it sort of does, but I also kind of think about it like the following.

I know how to hit a forehand. If I went out and rallied with someone right now, I’d definitely spray or shank a few balls here or there because I haven’t picked up a racquet in a few months. It doesn’t mean my forehand got worse or I’ll never again be able to hit the ball like I used to. It will just take some time to get there. And, if you think about it, getting “there,” wherever “there” is, will take less time than it did the first time around because my body already knows how to hit the crap out of the ball a solid forehand. I feel like my running is the same. My body already knows how to run as fast as I trained it to previously. It will just take some time to get there again.

Unrelated but I just wanted to remind you that I did make it to Staten Island with my orange sparkly BIC band. Said headband is still somewhere in Staten Island. RIP. Hi Kelly and Baker!

Or so I tell myself. Sometimes, I think I should change the name of this blog to “Lies I Tell Myself to Make Me Behave Like a Normal, Rational Person.”

I’m more worried about my clothes not fitting anymore than anything else. And, don’t be surprised when there is another post in a week titled, “OMG! I’M STILL NOT RUNNING AND AM FAT AND OUT OF SHAPE! THIS IS TERRIBLE.”

TELL ME: Anyone who ran the NY Marathon already end their break? If so, why? If not, how much time are you breaking for? Anyone had any weird leg issues and has any bright ideas for me? Or better yet, just tell me something cool you did this weekend.

Pigs Are Flying

So, get this – someone asked me for running advice. WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!? Pigs must be flying, people.

See, I told you...

I was flattered, to say the least, and I thought I’d share the question and answer with whoever reads this in case it helps him or her. Of course, I did tell the question asker that I hadn’t been running for too long so she should also seek a second opinion. If this question doesn’t pertain to you, then please stop reading and go to your nearest Target and start shopping for what I call “necessary luxuries.” Thanksgiving decorations? Yep, you need that.

A necessary luxury

Here was the question re: getting injured before a goal race (was I injured?): So you were able to do your race, just not the way you trained and planned? At this point, I’m not sure which is worse – not running, or running and not hitting my goal time. I’m running a half in less than a month, and I’ve been training my body and mind to run 1:38. I got the impression from that you’re similar to me, in that running isn’t just a sport or way to stay in shape. It’s a lifestyle for me, and it’s a direct reflection of how I view myself on any given day. How did you deal with the mental angst about not being able to run your perfect race? I haven’t been HURT hurt since high school, so for this to happen before this particular race makes me very disappointed. I appreciate your email and any advice on how to combat the mental frustration. I hope you have a happy Thursday!

Before I outline my answer, I want you all to know that I did, indeed, have a happy Thursday. Why? I got to babysit for my favorite family and put all 3 to bed, including prep for the tooth fairy.

I want to know who invented the tooth fairy...

Even better, the Cool Haus truck was outside their apartment so, obviously, I got myself an ice cream sandwich before sitting. It was sweet potato ice cream and a pumpkin cookie. An autumnal ice cream sandwich, right?

Back to the point. So, basically, I told her how I dealt with my disappointment and also warned her that I am no running guru or the like. This was just how I got through my experience.

I will put my answer in bullet points so as to make it easier to read:

• So you were able to do your race, just not the way you trained and planned? Indeed. My goal was 3:35. I ran 4:05:33. I’m not a mathematician, but that’s off by about 30 min or an episode of Modern Family.

Buying season 1 of Modern Family was the best thing I ever did.

• At this point, I’m not sure which is worse – not running, or running and not hitting my goal time.  When I knew my leg wasn’t 100% in the few days leading up to the marathon, I thought about running the marathon vs not. I kind of knew deep down I probably wouldn’t be able to race it like I had trained. I tried to trick myself into believing some magic could happen, but I’m also a bit realistic to know that inflamed tendons don’t just heal magically and that two weeks off before a marathon isn’t ideal. So, I thought about which would make me more sad – running NYC slower than I wanted or not running at all. The thought of not running NYC and missing out on that experience was much more upsetting than running NYC slower than I wanted. That ended up being pretty much a no-brainer for me. Who wouldn’t run the NYC Marathon if given the chance?

I mean, if Katie Holmes ran it, it must be something that I must do.

• I’m running a half in less than a month, and I’ve been training my body and mind to run 1:38. Before I go on, you should get the Believe I Am training diary. You know, it was disappointing that I didn’t get to run the race I dreamed over for several months. I made a lot of physical and mental jumps in the months leading up to NYC, which made me, I think, a much stronger runner, one that could potentially run a 3:35 marathon if the stars aligned correctly. My ITBS was untimely, but I take it that injuries are part of the game if you’re a runner. I like to think that all of the hard work I did leading up to NYCM doesn’t really disappear and it didn’t go to waste. That work is still in me, somewhere, and it will be expressed, for lack of a better word, someday when I’m healthy. All of that work was going into making me a better runner in general – not better for just one race.

Raise your hand if you have one!

• It’s a lifestyle for me, and it’s a direct reflection of how I view myself on any given day. I’m not sure if I’m taking what you wrote in the wrong way, but I would caution against having a result be a direct reflection of yourself. For me, I don’t like to have anything fully identify me. Sure, running is important to me, but sometimes I don’t even like calling myself a runner (mostly because I think people will assume I’m good if I say that). I love goal setting and I love working hard towards a goal. However, I like to do that in other areas of my life, too.  I like to scheme ways to raise more money for cookies. I like to figure out what I want to achieve in my professional career. What you wrote struck a chord with me because when I was an undergraduate, I really let me test scores define me. I was obsessed with how well I did in school, although somewhat rightfully so as I did want to be a competitive med school applicant. My obsession with scores, however, became unhealthy as my mood and happiness was directly determined by how I performed. I finally learned to really “let go” of test scores in medical school when the first two years were pass/fail and I’ve been a lot happier ever since.

Love myself a scan-tron sheet.

• How did you deal with the mental angst about not being able to run your perfect race? I haven’t been HURT hurt since high school, so for this to happen before this particular race makes me very disappointed. It is disappointing. I’d tell you to look at the whole picture. Here is what I did or have been doing.

1. I looked at all the successes I had along the way in training for NY. I had some great PRs and a lot of mental breakthroughs (here are some of the links about them). Actually, before I got injured and was worried about my time goal in NY, a wise person told me the following – “No matter what happens in New York, every positive moment you’ve had and each good race and PR along the way…that’s proof that you’ve scrambled the egg. You can never unscramble an egg.” I had a lot of fun along the way, too, scrambling that egg. The process of training for a big goal was fun for me, and I hope it was for you, too. No one result can take that away from you.
2. I’d say make sure you have something else to focus on after the half. After the marathon, I started on a new, cool project at work and really threw myself into that. I’m now researching what I can do for my IT band/SI joint and what spring races I want to do. I’m dreaming and scheming again, which is fun.
3. I got to this point in my tennis career, if you can call it that, where I realized you aren’t going to show up to every match with everything perfect. Some days, your forehand will feel all. Other days, you’ll feel like you can’t miss. So, I decided that the best you can do is try to 100% out of what you came with that day. Serve isn’t 100%? Then, try to get 100% out of that 80% serve you have that day. Does that make sense? I say go do the race and do the best with what you have on that day. If it’s an injured you, then try to get 100% out of the injured you. That may not be your absolute, maximum 100%, which is what you were training for, but its 100% of what you are that day, and that’s really all you can ask for. Sometimes your 100% that day is only 80% of your maximum potential because of circumstances like injury. As long as you try to get 100% out of what you have that day, you can’t lose. (Well, technically you can still lose a tennis match, but that’s besides the point.)
4. People will come up and congratulate you in the week after race no matter how you did. Use it to build your confidence. People at work, who had no idea what my goal was, tell me my time was amazing when I tell them. Most people don’t even ask me my time. I’ve gotten hugs and high fives and, instead of explaining myself, I’ve used it to pat myself on the back a bit. I hope that’s a good thing.

Of course, I told the question asker that I had my definite sulking period and almost threw my running shoes out the window. And, apparently, I sound a lot more sane about things when I write about them, which is why I like writing sometimes. Trust me, I was definitely pretty hard on myself the few days after the marathon in my sulking period.

I guess time heals all wounds. Yet, I hate to say the NY Marathon was a “wound,” because, I mean, I ran it and finished. I had a lot of people cheering for me (all of those people were for me, right?). I got to experience it. In 20 years, I want to look back on the NY Marathon with fond memories, not angst. It was a beautiful day for a marathon and I ate a burger, onion rings, and fries after. I’d say it was a pretty good day.

I'm sorry people, this is the best marathon pic I have!

If you have any recommendations for my question asker, put them below! And, thanks to the question asker for letting me post this!

Until next time…

Still Sulking

Listen, people. I know I am being ridiculous. Running, while important to me, is a hobby – nothing more. There is no reason I should be upset or in near tears when I think about the NYC Marathon. Anyone want to give me a deadline on the sulking period?

Apparently, I wasn't upset here (yet). You know why? Because I saw Ali, Lauren, and Emily all reppin' the sweat squad.

[Seriously, huge thank you Ali, Emily, and Lauren and all the other cheerleaders I saw - Jaime, Jackie, Kimmie, Jess, Courtney, etc - and my virtutal cheereleaders, too many to name]

Mile 18 or so pick me up. HUGE THANKS!

So, yes, my whole crying on the way to work this morning thinking “all of my hard work went to waste” is quite ridiculous. At the moment, it’s the way I feel and I feel somewhat stupid now making my marathon goal 3:35, then putting that out there, and then failing miserably. I have a hard time thinking “oh, it was that IT band thing,” because I’m sure someone out there has PR’ed in a marathon on a bum IT band.

And then I saw this cute puppy on my way to work, which made me instantly feel better. I feel weird calling it "work," considering I don't get paid. Oh well, it's fun, regardless.

Or maybe I’m just slightly psychotic. Someone had the office told me “I’m sorry you’re injured,” and I was like “oh this IT band isn’t an injury, its just an annoyance.” I’m very rational right now, obviously. Like when I almost threw my running shoes out the window this morning – very mature.

Someone at work did validate me by telling me she has similar marathon experiences in not being 100% content with her time. She made me feel so much better and I’m convinced we’re the same person although separated by 6 years in age(we have similar test scores and everything). She told me to not let it ruin the whole experience for me because, at the end of the day, the NYC marathon is a very cool experience.

Anyways, if you know me and how I follow gymnastics obsessively, you would know that I, course, know the slogan of the gym that produced the last two Olympic All-Around champions, WOGA (World Olympics Gymnastics Academy). In true Russian fashion, the motto of the gym is “Train Hard Or Go Home” and “Hard Work Never Disappears.”

I want to raise my kids in Dallas just so they can be good gymnasts...

I like to think the latter one is especially true. Sure, I worked hard for 3-4 months and it didn’t pay off on the big day.

However, I don’t think it’s particularly healthy to judge anything by just one day. I don’t think a surgeon would judge his or her career based on one case.

Similarly, although I spent 3-4 months training for the NYC Marathon, I had a lot of little successes and breakthroughs along the way. I learned how to get rid of negative thoughts at the Boilermaker, I learned that humidity does actually suck the life out of you in New Haven, I learned that focusing on enjoying yourself can lead to big PRs when you least expect it, and I learned how to, finally, appreciate tempo runs. I learned that the physical often follows the mental (ie Believe I Am), that you don’t have to do crazy long runs really early in a marathon training cycle (thank you, RC), and that the whole “training for a marathon” thing can actually be pretty enjoyable, at least in my book.

I still die for the Boilermaker.

[P.S. I have to give a big virtual shout out, hug, and high five to Steph (the RC). She is awesome. She gets a thumbs up from Meggie. And a pointer finger. Although I don't think she reads this blog. Irregardless, she's cool.]

Look at the RC go...she is so fast.

I haven’t found the actual marathon to be enjoyable, yet. It’s kind of a lot of eggs in one basket for me, for a race. But, I figure, that’s kind of how I felt about running for a long time — I thought it was pretty miserable. I figure as long as I have the desire to do a marathon, I’ll keep trying.

So, yep, I think this post actual ends sulking period. Meggie isn’t a quitter, last time I checked. I have some really things going on at my unpaid work, have more time to scheme ways to raise money for Cookies For Kids’ Cancer, and can start planning my marathon revenge.

Also, PS – everyone I have ever met from Oregon or who has lived there at some point is super tiny. I want to know what on earth is in the water there that is making them all so skinny. I want some of that. Or a mild bout of a tapeworm or something. It can’t be just all that running and stuff they do over there, right?

TELL ME: Your comeback stories, your revenge stories, your war stories, your glory days, your successes, how a sport has once been terrible to you and then you loved it again…I need to be inspired. 

Before I go, I ‘ll give you one of mine which has been helpful to me in my sulking period. My junior year of college, I think I won two matches all of the fall season, culminating in a particularly terrible match that I called my “waterloo.” That fall, I felt like I couldn’t hit the side of a barn if I tried. I thought very seriously about quitting tennis that winter, because I just didn’t enjoy it anymore. That spring, I took all pressure off of myself and focused on very basic things. I got all conference that season in both singles and doubles (first team doubles, second team singles, in case you were actually curious.) So, I guess things can turn around.

One of the only pics I have of me playing tennis...I'm sure there are more somewhere....

Until next time…

P.S. Did you buy picky bars, yet?

Sulking Period

Today begins the official sulking period over the NYC Marathon for me. I know, I’m being a competitive psycho, but I can’t help it. It’s the way I feel.

I believe I am....sulking. I did run with this in my pocket. The Oiselle distance shorts are awesome. So much storage space.

After I finished, it’s hard to be anything other than happy. Random people congratulate you. No one asks you what your time was. They’re just impressed you finished. I feel the same way when I see other people finish a marathon. If they ran a great time, that’s fabulous, but its even attempting the thing that’s impressive to me. And, it is a pretty incredible thing, when you think about it. The RC reminded me that 99% of people don’t attempt nor finish marathon.

Token NYC finishers in sweet mylar blankets.

If you’ve read any previous posts, you’ll know my time goal for this marathon was 3:35 and then I had my IT band stage a mutiny against me, causing me to run 3x in the last 2 weeks before the marathon. 4:05:33 is very far off form 3:35 and it wasn’t even an improvement from my last marathon(3:48 in May). When I look at it as facts, that it was much worse than the last one, it’s a tough pill for my competitive self to swallow.

I’m having a hard time knowing whether I used my leg as a cop out not to try harder. Did I make it worse in my head so that way I’d have an excuse for slowing down? Maybe. It’s hard to know. It did hurt, especially towards the end when I couldn’t bend it well, but doesn’t something always hurt at the end of a marathon?

I hate you.

I feel like I maybe gave up on myself a little bit from 8-15, which is a big chunk. In my past two marathons, I’ve always had a hard time not thinking “this sucks, I am never doing this again” or “I really am not cut out for marathons if my legs feel a little tired at mile 10.” Those thoughts are exactly what I didn’t want to happen if you read this post from way back when. I did a better job than Jersey in getting rid of them and I didn’t have them after mile 15. Nevertheless, they were still there. There were definitely parts where I was not enjoying myself like I had hoped I would.

Like I said in my last post, if its one thing I’m not, its a quitter. So, of course, I’m already scheming marathon #4 and how it will be redemption 2012. I figure, if I keep trying, one day I’ll get it right, get the marathon I’ve dreamed of. Or maybe I’m just really stubborn and slightly stupid. Maybe I really am not cut out for marathons. But, I figure, I did pretty well in the whole training thing. Eventually I should get the actual race to go my way, right?

I know, I’m being a competitive whiner right now. Writing about it makes me feel better about it so, unfortunately, if you’re reading this, you are being subjected to this. I am sorry.

Now, I know what you’re all thinking. WHAT DID MY NAILS LOOK LIKE FOR THE MARATHON?

Baubing for Baubles and Vermillionaire, both by Essie

I was thrilled with the outcome on the nail polish front.

Now, I need to go caffeinate myself, preferably with an americano with mocha, which the RC introduced me to and is one of my new favorite things. I highly suggest you try it immediately. The RC is wise not only on the running front, but also on the coffee front.

I'm subjecting you to this picture again.

TELL ME: Should I give the marathon another shot? Call it quits?

This is all assuming I can run again. Right now, my legs feel trashed.

Until next time..

P.S. I have to give a shout out to everyone I know who finished: Lindsay, Lauren, Kelly, Betsy, Susan, Emilia, Shannon, Bruce, Heidi, Katie…I think that everyone…sorry for anyone I missed!

 

Dear Self…

That’s right, I wrote a letter to myself. I can’t take credit for the idea. I stole it from former UCLA gymnast and 2011 World Team Gold Medalist, Anna Li. Here’s one of her floor routines, just so you can know who I’m talking about.

Anyways, I remember reading that Anna Li wrote a letter to herself before her senior season at UCLA, writing to herself how she hoped she would feel at the end of her collegiate career. I’m not exactly sure why she did it, but I thought it be a good, umm, writing exercise?

I wrote a first letter to myself a few weeks ago, before the whole IT band thing happened and my main focus, at the time, was achieving my time goal. It helped me focus myself on what I wanted to feel like at each part of the race and how, ideally, I would like the whole thing to play out. It was actually the first time I used the lined, journal side of my amazing Believe I Am Training Journal, which I still insist that each and everyone of you reading this buys (for the guys, its ok, pink is totally in for guys, too).

The back cover - can we call this super hero "Super Taper?" Yes?

However, I’m thinking I need to write a new letter to myself. For a few reasons…

First, to be honest, I’m very overwhelmed by this whole marathon thing. I’m not exactly sure why, either. In past years (when I have not been running it), I thought the energy was awesome and was jealous of people who were getting to run it. Now that its me running it, all the runners descending upon the city, ads, events, etc, make me anxious. Suffice it to say that even though I haven’t been running much, my heart rate has definitely had some spikes in zones it would only see while running. So, I think writing another letter to myself would help me refocus myself on what I actually want to get out of this whole experience and will help, umm, un-overwhelm me.

If I mention heart rates, I obviously have to show a picture of an EKG.

Second, one would reason that I need to change my expectations slightly considering I’ve run 3 times in the past 2 weeks. Of course, because I am very competitive and pretty stubborn, my A goal hasn’t changed. But, I guess my level 0 goal is to finish, considering I may have that knife in the knee happen during the marathon at which point I most likely wouldn’t be able to run the pace I would need to achieve my A goal. Plus, as all of you all reminded me, there are so many variables in a 26 mile race that it’s best to have multiple goals so there isn’t one “do or die” goal you have to hit.

I’m pretty stubborn and know my competitive self a little too well. I will probably be slightly disappointed if I don’t achieve my A goal. I’ve dreamed of it since August. It’s hard for me to let it go.

I will be enormously disappointed if I don’t finish. Yet, with my IT band thing, it is a very real possibility. I need to come to terms with the fact that I might have to readjust my goals depending on how my leg handles the race.

In my first letter to myself (which is a lot of rambling, fyi), my over-arching theme (or recurring thought, I guess) was that I wanted to walk away from the experience with a smile on my face. This may be the only time I get to run the NYC marathon and I don’t want to take it for granted or be ungrateful for the experience.

I don’t think disappointed and smiling really go together. So, clearly, I need some sort of attitude adjustment. One of the reasons I like writing blog posts is that it helps me process things in my life by turning it into a cohesive (well, not always) post. I find writing therapeutic and cathartic at times. So, I will probably be writing a little letter to myself in the very near future about how I want to feel come Sunday evening. You best believe it will also be in my Believe I Am Training Log.

Maybe I should print this and pin it to my bib or something...

Emotionally, I’m excited, terrified, anxious, scared, uncertain, yet thrilled to be taking part. Although I’m sure I seem like an ungrateful, competitive whiner, I truly am excited that I get to run in one of the greatest marathons in the world (and possibly the largest, I think). It really is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Physically, I feel very well rested, but with a lot of pent up energy.

Leg-sically, I ran today for 20 min. Its better, but its not perfect. I can definitely feel some friction, but its much better then previous runs last week and its not too painful. I’m hoping adrenaline will provide some analgesia on Sunday and I won’t notice a thing. I also plan on icing and taking ibuprofen (until Saturday when I will switch to Tylenol because it doesn’t affect your kidneys like NSAIDs do, just an fyi)

A nephron, which is the "workhorse" of the kidney! If you want an explanation of why you should take Tylenol before and during a marathon, I can tell you. And It has to do with this little guy.

Mentally, I have to take it one day at a time. I’ll have to take it one mile at a time on Sunday and keep reassessing my situation as I run, I guess.

So, that’s where I’m at people.

Oh guess what I also did – I’m pretty sure I freaked out a real life Kenyan runner. I saw Sally Kipyego, who was with the RC and, of course, I recognized her and screamed, “OMG!!! I LOVED YOUR INTERVIEW ON FLOTRACK! YOU ARE AMAZING! CONGRATULATIONS!”

I’m sure she thought I was a real life Buddy the Elf.

I wanted to ask her to give me all of her secrets, besides being Kenyan. Missed opportunity.

TELL ME: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF WRITING A LETTER TO YOURSELF? EVER GET OVERWHELMED BY A RACE? MOVIE RECS FOR WHEN I BEGIN HIBERNATION PERIOD?

Until next time…

P.S. Aqua jogging gets old very fast.

Time Is Of The Essence

I’m sure my last few posts have you thinking I need to be prescribed Xanax for the month before big races, right? When re-reading them myself, I sound like some time-obsessed, over-achieving, fear of failure freak. While I may be some of those things, I think an explanation of why I feel so pressed to achieve my big running goals ASAP is warranted.

Me, in a few years...

You see the girl hunched over writing something? I imagine she is an OB/GYN resident, which is what I will be in a few years. Just an fyi for those who don’t know, people in the short coats are med students, while long coats signify your have an MD. A med student’s white coat pockets will typically be stuffed with various guides (“the red book” which is now green, Maxwells, picky bars for emergency hunger in my case) and papers with their notes for H and Ps, presentations, etc. The more senior you are, the less there is in your white coat pockets.

Me eating a picky bar after a long run last year. The really red face is totally normal for me - not to worry.

As a resident, you work a lot. The technical maximum cap on weekly work hours is 80 hours per week. I do know residents who have worked more than this. With such work hours, I surmise that my ability to train for a marathon, and train well at that, might suffer. I do know residents that have run a lot and even have done marathons and, in one case, an Ironman(I won’t be doing that, sorry). So, while I do plan on keeping up the ol’ running habit in residency, I have my doubts about being to train well for a big race.

Being able to train like I do right now is really a luxury for me. Its why I’m trying to take advantage of it while I can and its why I want NYC and any other races I do this year to go well for me.

Would this freak you out if you saw me like this in a recovery room?

That’s Meggie the sickly med student above. I ran my last marathon (New Jersey) during my surgery rotation. About a week and a half after the marathon, I came down with a evil virus, probably from immune suppression from marathon + little sleep + subsisting on graham crackers and OJ all day. In fact, the attending I was assisting (read: retracting for) asked me if they needed to put a pulse oximeter on me or if I needed to have my nose suctioned under my mask. In between cases I would huddle in blankets as the ORs were so cold. I know – its a really good look for me.

But, speaking of med school – LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL POSTER!!!

Gloss is boss. Definitely get the gloss finish if you ever make a poster.

My real goal and reason for my “year off” is to get some quality research in and, hopefully, a publication or two. I’m here in Orlando because of this little baby I worked on last spring. Big shout of to Dr. Licciardi and Dr. Knopman for helping this little med student out big time.

Getting my abstract accepted as a poster has afforded me the opportunity to attend ASRM (American Society of Reproductive Medicine)’s annual meeting, which has been an unbelievable opportunity for which I am extremely grateful to NYU. Not only have I heard lectures on the most cutting edge research in the field, but have been reassured by my interest in the research that OB/GYN is the perfect field for me.

ASRM forgot to include a Harry Potter outing.

Unfortunately, the ASRM planners FORGOT to include a Harry Potter outing. I mean, hello, don’t you think Professor Snape could whip up a fertility potion? YES.

TELL ME: How do you fit in running with your long work hours? What is your job now and what is your career interest?

Until next time…

OMG. I can’t breathe. -RZ

You must know by now that I love Rachel Zoe. If you’re not aware, Rachel typically says “OMG I can’t breathe” or “I’m lit-er-ally dy-ing” in case you’re confused by the title. Anyways, my long run anxiety filled experience must have been exactly what she felt like when she was “dressless for the globes” in season 2. Don’t worry it all worked out ok for RZ – Cameron Diaz wore this awesome Karl Lagerfeld Chanel creation that Rachel actually got altered to be sleeveless.

Cameron totally shut it down. She look ba-nan-as.

So, you know how I was pretty freaked out over my long run with the 10 miles at marathon pace and what not? Yeah, let’s just say I did all 10 miles still pretty freaked out. I should’ve carried a brown paper bag with me so I could rebreathe my own CO2 to calm myself down.

If you want to know how fast I ran it and stuff, here is a nice Garmin table for you.

A 3:35 marathon is 8:12 pace - I'll let you be the judge if I was successful or not.

What this picture doesn’t tell you is that I seriously had to take time out seshes about 4 times to keep myself from having a meltdown. I knew I was being super irrational when I was complaining (in my head) about “all the people in this park – there’s too many and they’re overwhelming me!” Seriously, self? This is CENTRAL PARK in NYC – of course there are lots of people.

Also, does a gnarly headwind actually slow you down? Because I was complaining about that, too. In tennis, you can’t really complain about conditions like sun and wind, because, well, its always the same for your opponent. I’m not sure if wind affects running, but it was contributing to my meltdown today.

AUNTIE EM!!! This wind is gnarly.

So, I don’t really know if I can check the success box for “10 miles at MP” as I don’t think they allow for time-outs for panicking during a race.

I don’t really consider today a success, because its pretty much everything I would NOT want to happen before and during that marathon I’m running in a few weeks. My fear of failure pace-wise basically paralyzed me from running relaxed and calm like I did at Grete’s two weeks ago.

This was fun. Today was not.

Today confirmed that time is my frenemy. In the garden of my mind, time is both a flower and a weed. Or maybe just an flower surround by lots of thorns or something – oh wait, that would be a rose.

If I want to find a silver lining, I guess it was pretty much MP and I ran 18 miles total (4 before and 4 after). Afterwards, I got to eat 3 of Kelly‘s “healthy cookies” (or at least that’s what I call them) while watching American gymnastics dominance with her and Celia.

Anyways, I have 3 weeks to figure out how to channel Grete’s and Cow Harbor Meggie and not today’s Meggie. Suggestions for accomplishing this are welcome.

I guess I just have to go back to what worked in my past few races – enjoying pushing myself, enjoying the experience, singing to Taylor Swift, being cognizant of time, but not obsessed with it, etc. I’m hoping I get my act together or its going to be a miserable 26.2 miles. I thinking it won’t be though.

On another note, before we go, my hunger is out of control lately. I feel like I can’t go 2 hours without eating. To make matters worse, my building’s mailman is hosting my newest Picky Bar shipment hostage as he didn’t deliver the mail today. Its upsetting.

***ALSO, BIC BAND UPDATE – It stayed on my head for all 18 miles. I’m a fan.

Until next time…

A Different Kind of List

Class, before we begin, I have a question for long pony-tailed individuals out there. On long runs, sweaty summer days, and the like, I have come across a most disgusting and disturbring hair phenomenon – ponytail tangles. If you look closely at the following picture, you may be able to see what I’m talking about.

Basically, my ponytail is a rats’ nest at the end of a really long run — ie a marathon. This poses a problem as to what to do with my hair for said upcoming marathon in November. Do I continue with high ponytail as seen in the above photo and incur tangles? Do I french braid my hair which I can’t do on myself and, therefore, presents a challenge. Suggestions are welcome and, if you can braid, I may higher your services for the marathon.

End hair discussion.

If you know anything about my obsession with my planner (from Korea), you know I LOVE myself a list. Its not necessarily “to-do” lists, either. For instance, I once wrote about how I made a list of reasons why the NYC marathon would go well so I would stop freaking out about running for forever and a day (ok, slight exaggeration).

My paper brain.

A lot of stuff on that is is about enjoying the experience, working hard on “the extras,” not being a psycho about tempo runs and things like that, etc. If you’ve read about my recent races, they’ve gone well for me because I’ve focused on things other than time (and, lucky for me, the times followed). However, I do have a time goal for the NY marathon so I can’t ignore the ol’ watch completely, although I’d love to.

Lately, I’ve been trying to reconcile how I’m going to incorporate my time goal into my NYC marathon mentality without ruining the whole experience for me.

If you also have read some of my other posts, you know how in love I am with my Believe I Am training journal. Its a tough call for which I love more – the Korean planner or the Believe I Am training journal. In said training journal, there is this poem:

Pretty good, huh?

When I asked a very wise person about what to do with my “how do I care about time, but not too much” dilemma, the guru responded with this little gem: “Just go back to that nice little garden you’ve made with all the other new flowers you’ve planted and make sure you plant ‘time’ in an appropriately sized pot and don’t let it invade the other things too much. You don’t have to kick it out of the garden completely.”

This is my garden at my Hamptons home that I don't have.

So, last night, when I was freaking out over my workout today (6 x 1 mile @ HM pace, which we all know good I am at pacing myself), I drew a little picture titled “Meggie’s Marathon Mentality.” I drew flowers of varying sizes and wrote beside them what they represented. I also drew weeds for things that detract from what I want to focus on during the marathon.

An example of my artistic abilities from the 2nd grade.

I’d show you a picture of it, but my drawing skills aren’t so stellar, so I’d say its more of an abstract garden rather than still life.

To give you an example, there is a big flower that has “in-joy” written on it (enjoy, running “in joy” – get it?) and beside it a weed that says “ruining the experience by being a competitive psycho.” As much as time is important to me, I also want the whole thing to be something I look back on fondly since, you never know, it may be the only time in my life I get to run the NYC marathon.

My little art project really helped me not only delineate what was important to me for the marathon, but also at what priority level I placed them. Its helped me focus on what I need to do this next month to achieve what I want in November.

So, get out your construction paper and pencils and go to town folks.

Arts and crafts rock.

And, whilst we’re on things that are helping me in my last month of marathon preparation, I will leave you two little gems from two wise people.

The first is to “not wish the miles away… this feeling of pain is what you’ve been waiting for,” meaning, at least to me, not to think about just getting through workouts/long runs/etc, but to enjoy what purpose they are serving even if its sometimes a little bit painful.

That little tidbit helped me on my mile repeats today which were as follows: 8, 7:28, 7:28, 7:38, 7:38, 7:45. The first one I may or may not have been pretending I was Taylor Swift singing “Sparks Fly” and forgot what I was doing. This is why I shouldn’t run races with an ipod.

Let's give it up for the mile repeats!

The second is “to not put the marathon on a pedestal.” At the end of the day, its just another race. I mean think about it, sometimes you run a 10K that goes great and other days you run one that goes poorly. The same thing may happen in a marathon, but its just another race. There will always be another race (or so I tell myself to calm myself down.)

I hope those help you as much as they have helped me.

Until next time…